Gen Z Speaks: Last year, I swiped right on a dating app but he was 10,000km away. Now we’re married

As a twenty-something in Singapore, my dating experiences had left me disillusioned. I just couldn’t seem to find someone I could deeply connect with, or who shared my values and long-term goals. 
After several disappointments, my optimism rapidly waned. With each date, I was just going through the motions.
In April 2023, I decided to make use of a free Bumble Premium trial. Thinking nothing much of it, I used the Passport feature to put myself in London, a city I’ve always wanted to see. At the time, I’d never even travelled outside Asia. 
Even if nothing romantic came of it, I figured it’d be nice to maybe make a new friend. 
When Victor’s profile came up on my feed, something captivated me about his photos and descriptions. We’re both 26 years old. He is Portuguese, born and raised in London, while I am Indian, born and raised in Singapore. 
The clincher: His love for Indian cuisine, highlighted by interest badges.
I swiped right.
Even across thousands of miles and a seven-hour time difference, our connection was undeniable.
We quickly bonded over shared interests and passions, like trying new cuisines and travelling. We scheduled video chats and calls at odd hours and had deep conversations about everything, from our childhoods to our future goals and ambitions. 
Victor was very different from the guys I had been talking to on apps in Singapore, many of whom were looking for something short-term or to pass the time — fun enough for some, but just not my style. 
We couldn’t see each other, so Victor had nothing to “gain”. Still, he regularly checked in on me and asked how I was. He was a good listener. He bought me gifts, sent me flowers, Grab-ordered food for me. 
I could already see this turning into something serious. 
But I knew all about love scams, and reality shows like 90 Day Fiancé had shown me the pitfalls of moving too fast in relationships. I wanted to be smart and cautious.
“Stay present and enjoy the process,” I told myself. “Don’t put too much pressure on the future.”
Two months in, Victor surprised me by announcing a two-week visit to Singapore. 
We’d previously talked about him coming to see me and exploring Singapore. He was hyped about the idea, as he’d never been outside Europe before. 
Even then, I hadn’t expected him to actually book a flight. Other men I’d talked to before had said similar things, but none followed through. 
To me, Victor’s plane ticket was proof that he said what he meant and meant what he said. 
On the day of his arrival, I waited at Changi Airport, excited yet nervous about our first real-life meeting. When he stepped out of the gates, we embraced tightly. The nerves seemed to melt away; it felt like we had known each other forever. 
Over the next fortnight, we immersed ourselves in all the sights our little red dot is known for. We visited the Mariamman temple, Maxwell Food Centre, and Jewel. 
In a significant step, Victor met my family. We went to the arcade with my sister. We had dinner in Little India with my grandpa. Victor tried and loved my grandma’s home-cooked sardines.  
Everyone thought he was kind, gentle, and friendly. They could see that he cared for me.
Halfway through his visit, Victor got a severe viral infection. Between the high fever and vomiting, he was so sick that he couldn’t go to the doctor.
I called for a doctor to visit him in his hotel room, but the prescribed antibiotics didn’t seem to help. 
I stayed with Victor for a few days, nursing him back to health. It was a challenging time, but it brought us closer. He later told me that was when he knew he wanted to be with me forever. 
Funnily enough, we never discovered what made him sick, but my family joked that it was trying Singaporean food for the first time. 
In September, Victor surprised me again for my birthday — this time with a trip to London.
With Victor’s visit to Singapore, my family hadn’t been too concerned, but the idea of me flying to the United Kingdom alone did worry them. They told me to check his passport and look up the Singapore embassy in London. If anything untoward happened, my dad promised, they would fly me home immediately. 
They also worried about how fast we seemed to be moving. “How will you manage the distance long-term?” they asked. “Are you sure this isn’t just a fleeting romance?” 
These were valid worries, some of which I shared myself. 
Upon deeper reflection and discussion with Victor, we decided to tackle these doubts together. We talked openly and candidly about our fears and concerns. 
Victor’s consistency and sincerity reassured me and, despite their fussing, my loved ones as well. (They also took great comfort in knowing Victor wasn’t a “party boy”. He doesn’t even drink alcohol.)
In London, Victor and I celebrated my birthday in style. We saw Wicked at the Apollo Victoria Theatre, and went dancing at a Portuguese restaurant with his family, where they surprised me with a cake and sang Happy Birthday in Portuguese for me.
The highlight was our visit to Madeira, Portugal — where Victor’s family is from — for his mother’s birthday, just a week after mine. 
On Sep 25, in the The Monte Palace Madeira Gardens, Victor proposed. Overwhelmed with happiness, I said yes.
Despite the short timeline of our relationship, our families were thrilled and supportive. 
It was official: Victor and I would settle down together.
But where?
Victor loves Singapore. He loves our tropical weather and vibrant kopitiam culture, with our fragrant pao and thick kopi. In contrast, I find London’s grey, rainy weather strangely comforting. 
But leaving Singapore wouldn’t be easy. 
Despite having no degree, I had found fulfilment and stability as a client care adviser for Chanel. The thought of starting over in a new country was daunting. 
More heart-wrenching was the idea of being away from family. My grandparents, who had raised me, were now in their 70s, and a recent stroke had left my grandmother wheelchair-bound. Meanwhile, my mother’s battle with Parkinson’s grew harder each day. 
Every departure was a tearful affair. The thought of being permanently separated filled me with anxiety.
In the end, relocating to London was both a practical and deeply personal decision. 
I’m thankful for my sheltered upbringing and the top-notch education Singapore gave me. But I want my future children to have a different experience, with plenty of opportunities for creative and artistic exploration.
Being so far from my family is still hard, but I’m soothed by their many calls and their reassurances that our bond would remain unbreakable, regardless of the kilomiles between us. 
My younger sister Marissa also stepped up to watch over our grandparents, bringing me immense comfort and relief amid the turmoil of relocation.
This April, one year after our first meeting on Bumble, Victor and I got married. 
The celebration was made all the more special by the presence of Victor’s family, who had flown into Singapore from London on short notice. 
The small ceremony highlighted the union of our cultural identities and backgrounds: We started in Western clothes — blue suit, white gown — but later changed into traditional Indian attire — a sherwani for Victor and a stunning lengha for myself. 
My heart warmed to see Victor’s Portuguese family enthusiastically embracing the incorporation of Indian customs into our nuptials.
For example, the loud beats of the dhol drum during our entrance were believed, my mother shared, to drown out negativity or doubts, ensuring blessings and positivity for the couple. 
Given all that we’d overcome in our whirlwind love story, this resonated deeply with Victor and I, and our determination to embark on our union with joy and optimism.
We’re planning on a Catholic ceremony next year in London, followed by a Hindu celebration in Singapore thereafter.
As we settle into our new life in London, I find myself thinking often of that serendipitous swipe on Bumble that brought Victor into my life. How different everything would be now if I’d given up then!
To those searching for meaningful relationships, know that no matter your past hurts and disappointments, love has a way of finding us when we least expect it. 
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Tricia Rianne Teixeira, 26, was most recently a client care adviser for Chanel. She now lives in London, where she’s exploring the city’s eclectic arts scene, lending a hand to local charities and learning Portuguese, driven by a desire to communicate more fluently with her new in-laws.